The Greatest Valentine I've Ever Received

So here it is. February 14, 2009.

Honestly, I've never cared much about Valentine's Day at all (or any other holiday for that matter). I guess it has a lot to do with the arbitrary nature of them all.

Today, however, I finally got something other than M&M's and Hallmark cards out of Valentine's Day.

I received a phone call from the woman who was "my Valentine" for three February 14th's prior to (and not including) this one. After the conversation I realized that she was perhaps more my Valentine this year than ever.

It started with the obligatory "How do you do's" and a few of my trademark sighs, groans, and unsatisfied yawns (I'm sort of cranky most of the time. It's something I'm working on). I, embarrassedly, informed her that I had just started a new job for minimum wage at a gas station (you know, like a 16 year old with no work experience. Really demeaning, but somewhat necessary), and was dreading it. The silence that followed was deafening.

"You did what?!" she eventually exclaimed.

I explained, cerebrialy, that it was the first step toward getting back on my feet financially, so I could eventually lay down the necessary infrastructure to pursue music.

"What is wrong with you? You head out on your own to find happiness and fulfillment with music, and instead you soak in your own depression and self pity and seek stability over fulfillment?"

I hadn't expected her to react like that.

She continued....

"I gave up having you next to me every night so you could be happy, and a month later you've done nothing to justify that sacrifice."

Sounds harsh, I know, but she knows me well. I'm not really very capable of maintaining interest and a sense of responsibility toward anything or anyone other than music, and she knows that. She also knows that when I focus on anything else, everything suffers.

I'm now in a position where I don't have to worry about stability because, as she put it......
"The only stable thing you have is your talent, so use it!"

So I'm going to do just that. I'm going to focus on what I need to do to be successful.

-If I have to take my refund check and purchase music equipment that will allow me to make money with music, despite owing people, I will, regardless of who it offends.

-If I need to go to some far away place for a week to pursue an opportunity for ME, I'm going to, regardless of what the majority opinion happens to be.

-If I decide to drive to a city and sleep in my car for a few nights in order to play my music in front of people, I'm going to, regardless of how crazy everyone might think I've become.

In short, I'm going to focus on music, I'm going to earn my living solely from music, and I'm going to marginalize the influence of anyone in my life who may disagree with me. If I give myself a backup plan I will be less likely to force myself to succeed. If I have no other options the sense of urgency will increase and I will be forced to either succeed or starve.

This line of thinking is something my aforementioned Valentine calls "Corey Coleman Style". The way I used to look at the world before I started pretending I was something I am not.

Devil may care, looking the world square in the face, and daring everyone to attempt to dissuade me from my goals.

She turned my head around, as only someone who knows you as well as they know themselves can, and it was the greatest valentine I've ever received.

I know it all sounds irrational, sounds arrogant, sounds unsafe, sounds unstable, and I really honestly don't care, because again......

"The only stable thing you have is your talent, so use it!"

And that goes for YOU too!

Happy Valentine's Day!

- Corey

____________________________________________________

Subscribe to this blog by clicking the pretty orange button below